Shit.

I am so lost without you
You look so good without me

I hang on
You've let go

I am empty
You are full

Me, down
You, up.

Incomplete,
Content.

A Cento,

That room and me, rejuvenate a past.
Something, perhaps, about the lack of sound-
Slight as it is, disturbs me.

The sound is spirited, green, and full of silence
Long after it was heard no more
Outlived.

Our dried voices, when
Trying to keep still,
the shells were screeching overhead.

Stilled by the shouting, the audience,
The only way to be quiet is to be quick:
For this, for everything, we are out of tune.

For empty hands

My words poured out onto your feet, they poured out to you.
You kept a hushed tone and no, you did not run.
But we walked away,
simultaneously knowing this was for the best.
For the best reason we are not yet aware of,
but it's coming,
just as this new season is briskly beginning to chill our skin.
And underneath these goosebumps,
we are stitched with the shredding string that tied us together.
But it was not nearly strong enough,
and we fell apart like a worn sweater.

For fucking up again,

My words are erased out of my head
and bled out my heart.
That is what you do to me.

Hands clench against my sheets
and heat rushes into my face.
This is what you do to me.

Stripping me bare of the tough skin I've grown into,
destroying my frailties with a single word.

The ice in your voice trying to be covered by a faint dusting of care
can't fool me.
I'm no fool for you anymore.

I can fight against what you do to me.

For the good people out there,

These streets,
they lead in me in a direction
never known,
never quite what i expect.

The pavement slightly mists
as my feet keep moving me
on and on and on.

The lines dividing
one way
and the next
attracts me,
so I stand in the center
and as I look,
I don't know whether I'm looking forward or behind myself.

But with squinted eyes
and a knotted stomach
I see why this journey has kept me going
for such a long time.

And just seeing that one face
at the end of the road
reminds me it was all worth the while.

For stained shirts and teeth,

its not as easy as it seems,
you just like playing games with me.

i run
i twist
but you pull harder on my broken wrist

im back into your head
your into mine

and even with the fight im putting up
you find your own way
to surprise me

every minute
of every hour
of every day

we're back to where it all began

For the end of summer,

it seemed to never come
but its approaching
so i sat in the growing stale grass
and i awaited it

it crept upon my bare feet
and towards my bitten knees

i endured the chill i haven't felt in some time
savoring the ice on my steaming body

everyone knows what i speak
yet they release my white noise

they can read deeper if they tried,
they can read longer if they tried

while i awaited
i stood on my feet
and stepped onto a leaf

oh,
how i missed that sound of shattering veins
but its still too early

and it crunched softly at first
then made a sound
that resembled nothing
but the reflected rain on city streets

tough on the outside
but fragile once split open,

just like you and i.
just like you and i.

For some kind of magic,

you could melt the polar ice caps with the fire in your fingertips
letting the steaming water drip down
and singeing the skin.

you could move mountains with the weight you carry on your shoulders
and crashing down will come the remains of what you shatter,
piercing the skin.

the potential you have to destroy astounds me
taking me aback
and waiting too long to catch my breath again.

you could kill,
you could kill with what you have tucked so conspicuously
up your sleeve.

i'm on to you,
oh i am.
yet i'm caught in the middle of your game.

For the surprise ending,

two bodies entangle
desiring a connection,
resulting in distraction.
sweat drips
voices sound off the paper thin walls
and in between the sheets.

this will breed love,
this will breed love.

the skin itches to become one with the other
and the hearts pump red hot blood
into the mirrored chest.
eyes locked together
staring deep as possible in the shallow pupils.

this is only lust,
this is only lust.

For summer rain,

rain splashes against the window
and drips down my face.
how can i shiver
with such thick air surrounding me?
the winds have only blown for a few hours
yet i feel stuck in this moment,
the moment we fell through.
it's a little chilly
but i don't need your jacket.
i'll endure this storm on my own for a short while
and you can keep striking down like lightening.
this summer was dry since the start
so we'll let this water pour down
and dampen us to the roots.

For contortion,

It's been a while,
yet you're the itch i can't reach.
somewhere between my shoulder blades,
you gnaw deep down to the bone.
my arms twist and retort to touch the spot you've torn.
but i can't.
my back is breaking
against faded words
but i still hear them clear as day.
i fight.
i kick.
i scream with my remaining energy,
but it's gone.
mouth gaping open,
not a sound evaporates my clenched teeth.
you're so far gone,
your only inches behind me.

For those eyes,

they fall out of their sockets
bleeding out what they've wrongly perceived.
they never saw me for what i held behind the icy blue.
staring into mine, they failed to see the innocence.
i possessed no power to shut mine,
and neither did those,
those piercing emeralds.
maybe thats what made me blind to love.

For monotony,

i climb into bed
the soft summer rain dripping down the window.
as calm as the evening is
my head begins to fill.
thoughts race through my veins and out my skin.
over
and
over
and
over
the concrete smacks against my head.

For goodbye,

i can forget most of the time.
i can mute the sound of trumpets,
i can erase the words that once were spoken.
but sometimes, i can't.
i feel the thick autumn air get caught in my throat in the summer heat,
i taste the metallic kiss,
and i choke.
choke up on the months that are light years away,
yet slip through my fingers as if reliving them.
i've tried to hold on to these moments from a short lived happiness,
but my time has expired.
i reflect on days gone, and wonder where they have flown away to.
but now i understand that they've only tucked away deep inside me.
i can't shut out the rest of the world,
awaiting the chance to reconnect with my past.
i have to soar away,
spreading my wings with the strength i know i have packed inside my apprehensive body.
i can't forget,
but i can leave this mess in the past,
leave it locked away so tight that i can not relive,
but i can revisit.
i can't forget you,
but i can fly away.

For the unbreakable,

the man who never shed his skin, has diffused.
withering away to show the pain within, he cries.
the tears streak down, already diminishing the remaining burns.
the day he swore he'd never fall apart has arrived,
leaving him naked of all the walls he's built so thick.
someone warned the downfall, someone saw this coming.
but he didn't.
and just moments after the breakdown,
the one they never dreamt to see,
was gone.
and reconstructed were the walls,
and dried were the tears,
and gone, was the short lived visible heart.

For wasted words,

Why have I been running from you?
I ask myself this in my head as it lays against your chest.
I feel you beating into me, quickening my own pulse.
This simple thought brings heat to my face, I feel it visibly spreading.
I hope you see the smile stretching across my blushing skin.
I start to feel you in my stomach,
tickling my insides like I've swallowed a hundred feathers.
I'm so delicately choking on your breath.

For my consistant failure,

I am destruction
taking down everything around me.
I am spiraling
into your chest and splitting you down the middle.
I am breaking
what I've known into shards of broken bones.

For the red devil,

You are the root of my problems
growing askew and tangling my insides.
This is what it all comes down to,
this is when it all leaks out.

The pills were supposed to stop you,
you should be gone.
But you return
time and time again with a vengeance.

I kick, I scream, I groan in the agony you breed.
Leave my body,
and don't forget a fragment of your torture.
You'll rue the day you fucked this all up.

For nothing,

I just want to walk down that road again.
The one that kept on going and going and going.
And we kept repeating the words in our heads
so we could potentially sort them out.
Truth be to form,
it never made sense.
And that's why I'm still here hanging on a string.

For being oblivious,

i've turned numerous corners these days,
especially this one.
i didn't exactly want to,
my feet felt heavy with every step,
but i walked on.

i used to constantly stop at
every street sign,
every house i thought i knew,
every uneven crack in the sidewalk,
but this time i didn't.
instead of letting my apprehensive head get the best of me,
i let the leash attached to my dying dog direct me.

i've come to know these roads like the back of my hand,
a map inscripted into my pale bones.
i've never lost my way,
until this day.
and even past the point of confusion,
i kept picking up foot after foot,
knowing i would end up somewhere worthwhile.

my eyes were actually open,
and i saw the cloudless sky, fresh cut lawns, and bursting flowers for what they really were.
beauty that goes unnoticed,
each and everyday.
even the houses cried out to me for lack of being seen.

it's odd,
how you can know a place so well
and walk the pavement everyday for years
and still miss what's right in front of your face.

much has changed here over the time i've spent cooped up from the world.
new houses, replanted gardens, old neighbors who abandoned us,
but the roots, the roads, and i,
still reside here.

and yet i'm still wondering when i'll become as distinctly important as the trees sprouting upwards and the rain falling downwards.
i'm not controlled by fear today,
just curiousity of the oblivious.

my feet kept moving my body,
with no pattern,
similiarily to these words.
but fuck, i think i will miss my dog when she dies.