For being oblivious,

i've turned numerous corners these days,
especially this one.
i didn't exactly want to,
my feet felt heavy with every step,
but i walked on.

i used to constantly stop at
every street sign,
every house i thought i knew,
every uneven crack in the sidewalk,
but this time i didn't.
instead of letting my apprehensive head get the best of me,
i let the leash attached to my dying dog direct me.

i've come to know these roads like the back of my hand,
a map inscripted into my pale bones.
i've never lost my way,
until this day.
and even past the point of confusion,
i kept picking up foot after foot,
knowing i would end up somewhere worthwhile.

my eyes were actually open,
and i saw the cloudless sky, fresh cut lawns, and bursting flowers for what they really were.
beauty that goes unnoticed,
each and everyday.
even the houses cried out to me for lack of being seen.

it's odd,
how you can know a place so well
and walk the pavement everyday for years
and still miss what's right in front of your face.

much has changed here over the time i've spent cooped up from the world.
new houses, replanted gardens, old neighbors who abandoned us,
but the roots, the roads, and i,
still reside here.

and yet i'm still wondering when i'll become as distinctly important as the trees sprouting upwards and the rain falling downwards.
i'm not controlled by fear today,
just curiousity of the oblivious.

my feet kept moving my body,
with no pattern,
similiarily to these words.
but fuck, i think i will miss my dog when she dies.

For my best friend,

on days like these,
i would disappear if it weren't for you and your love, like nails in my feet.
on days like yesterday,
when the little white tablets weren't enough to ease the nerves,
it was your hand on my back that put air back into my convulsing lungs.
on days like tomorrow,
i know i won't collapse because when i fall,
i don't land on the ground, i land in your comforting arms.
on that day,
those days,
ones like last month
and next week,
i have nowhere to look but aside.
you're right there,
ready to be my umbrella,
awaiting my voice to shake into a thank you.
and it's moments like those that put the air back into me,
the nails in my feet,
keeping me intact with it all.

For somebody I used to know.

red is his heart,
blue is his soul,
green is his eyes.

with his hands, fragile and bony, he creates the world on a fresh quilted canvas.
with every blink, his focused gaze captures snapshots of what he wishes to keep tucked under his skin.

what he sees, what he feels
leak out through his fingertips
in reds and blues and greens.

For missing the perfect moment,

blank sheet,
you're about as empty as my head these days.
i've been waiting for something to hit me like a knife in the back - maybe that'll spark some inspiration.
anything would help, but my minds been translucent.

an idea slips in one ear so swiftly, so unnoticed,
like an eager hummingbird secretly singing to be seen.
it floats around my brain, giving me that anticipated tingle that creeps down to my left hand, ready to pounce on paper.

but then it's gone,
short lived with no trace of ever being inside me at all.

i must've blinked too quick;
the hummingbird got away.

For a year in the making,

i dreamt your face,
when the harsh heat would get to my head at night.
we were so longing,
yet so simultaneously unavailable.
the rare exchange of weightless words kept us hanging on,
hoping on one day to spark a fire.

i recognized your face,
when the leaves had fallen beneath our nervous toes.
the innocence still existing,
lingering somewhere between our beating chests.
we tangled ourselves up in the exact knots we'd been waiting to tie.

i needed your face,
when the once lit fountain had frozen still.
we waited, we fought the time and distance.
but before envy green and piercing blue eyes met,
we began to thaw.
the insecurities leaked all over the empty pages and blank canvases.

i saw your face,
when the flowers bloomed as revealing as your hushed tones.
no words that escaped my gaping mouth could ever form forgiveness.
your sun was no shelter,
and no longer will it shine again on my rain drenched face.

another four seasons gone,
but one lessons been learned,
etched forever into my skin:
seeing really is believing.